


And You're My Life Vest in a Stormy Sea

by scrub_fics



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, I promise I love him, M/M, One-Sided Sheith - Freeform, Oops, Poor Keith, a slightly older fic I decided to post here, ahhh, kinda happy ending, more positive and somewhat healthy than anything else tho, then again I hurt my favorite characters the most, who let me tag things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-10-15 11:20:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17527763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrub_fics/pseuds/scrub_fics
Summary: Keith realized much later on that when people say that "things happen for a reason", they were actually kind of right (though he had a feeling none of them ever assumed giant cat robots and alien princesses would be involved). Of course that doesn't mean he believed in fate or destiny - the idea that something controlled his every move pissed him off to no end. He would make his own path and didn't need anyone's help, thank you very much.





	And You're My Life Vest in a Stormy Sea

**Author's Note:**

> Can I get a hell yeah for kangst?

Keith had never thought of himself as a selfish person. For as long as he could remember, he wanted very few things. Said things consisted of his father staying alive, his mother never leaving them, and some semblance of family. He just didn't want to be alone anymore. And maybe he was asking for too much - maybe he was greedy. But those were things that everyone around him had. So why couldn't he? Why wasn't he allowed to have a home, have a family and friends?

Keith realized much later on that when people say that "things happen for a reason", they were actually kind of right (though he had a feeling none of them ever assumed giant cat robots and alien princesses would be involved). Of course that doesn't mean he believed in fate or destiny - the idea that something controlled his every move pissed him off to no end. He would make his own path and didn't need anyone's help, thank you very much. But of course, there were times when the belief of free will wavered. Because no matter what he did, Keith was always drawn to Shiro.

There were many different reasons that he could list as a possibility for why he would do anything for that man. But one of the few that he couldn't find words to explain included how he felt like Shiro was his anchor, the person keeping him grounded when everything else tried to knock him from side to side. One analogy he came up with was that Shiro was like the life vest and his life was a stormy sea. Cliche, of course, but true all the same. And to some people, maybe it wasn't strange that he felt that way towards Shiro. But the need to protect, the obsession to make sure that the other was safe...it was completely overwhelming. 

Looking back, he supposes it was obvious. But to his younger self, the fact that he was head over heels in love with Shiro never crossed his mind. Now don't get him wrong, Keith always knew he loved Shiro, but the romantic kind of love? He hadn't even realized it was there until he found Shiro floating in that pod in the middle of space. And honestly, he knew from that moment just how screwed he was. But he tried not to make a big deal out of it. He did his best to behave like normal, but it was hard when Shiro was acting the way he was. It made his heart ache in a way he had felt only twice before - once when his dad died, and the other when the world thought Shiro had died.

Although, it was slightly different. His past experiences with death had made his chest hurt and made him want to do nothing other than cry (and maybe hit someone). His heart had sunk, and to some degree, he felt hollow. But this? This felt as though someone was slowly tearing his heart from his chest. It was excruciating in a way he had never felt before. Because the man he loved - the man he was willing to die for - wasn't even his Shiro. 

...but at the same time, he was. Kuron had his face. He had his laugh, his strength, his intelligence. He had his memories, the capability to lead better than Keith ever could. And it had been so hard for him to accept that this man had killed their team, and was trying to kill him. But Keith supposed that what they say is true - love makes you do crazy things. Because no matter what Kuron did (at that time he was still Shiro in Keith's mind), he would always love him.

That became a solid fact in his life. Just as the grass on Earth was green, Keith was in love with Shiro. And he knew that Kuron had felt something similar. Because for all their similarities, there were differences. Sure, he had been colder, more distant. But he had also gave him looks that Shiro never had. Had said things Shiro never did. He had done little things that Keith later realized wasn't part of a developing relationship, but of a different version of Shiro.

It hurt too much to think about how Shiro's clone loved him in a way that Shiro himself never could, so Keith tried not to dwell on it.

But it was hard. And it only grew harder during the last stretch of the war. Shiro was the captain of the Atlas now, and Keith remained the head of Voltron. More often than not, they were apart. But the times when he was by Shiro, they were almost never alone. And it tore his heart apart all over again every time he saw it. The glances. Lingering touches. Secret smiles. Keith watched as the love of his life started falling in love with someone else. And if he thought that his time with Kuron had hurt - well, that was nothing compared to now.

And to add salt to the growing wound was the incident with Zethrid. When she had him in that headlock, he watched as Acxa tried to get her old comrade to let him go. He watched Shiro stand by, watched as Veronica took the shot to save him. And when he ended up back in his quarters, he burst out into tears. Because never in a million years had he thought that Shiro would stand by that passively when his life was in danger. And maybe he thought that was the best way to make sure Zethrid didn't kill him. But the knowledge of what he had done - and what he would do - to keep Shiro safe, and compare it to that?

Keith missed a few meals before someone dragged him from his room.

It hadn't been Shiro.

But the worst thing for him had to be standing beside Shiro as his best man. It was at that moment when he acknowledged that he was a selfish person. Because while he was happy that Shiro finally found happiness, he was consumed with an overwhelming sadness and feelings of self-loathing. Was he not good enough? Had he not done enough? Why couldn't he be the happiness Shiro had been looking for? 

Keith started to believe that fate was real, just so he had something to direct his hate and sadness at. Because not only did Shiro not love him, but he pulled away. And while Keith understood why, he felt like was beginning to drown. Because Shiro was his life jacket - he kept him afloat in his hurricane of a life. Why, after all he had suffered and lost, did he have to lose the man who said he would never leave him alone? 

It wasn't fair.

But. He couldn't hold a grudge. Shiro was happy - who was he to take that away? So instead, he kept his focus on the Blade of Mamora and did his best to make sure that no one had to suffer more than necessary. 

He gave them food. He gave them water. He talked to them, brought supplies to help them rebuild their lives, he and the BoM did everything they could for those who were like him - those who had lost everything, or very nearly everything.

And he supposes that in a way, he had slowly begun to find a new life vest. Sure, it came in the form of billions upon billions of aliens and the entirety of the Blades, but Keith knew it was for the best. Because for every injury he managed to heal, for every person he managed to help, he healed a wound of his own. 

So while Keith would still love Shiro and never forget him, he was a strong enough swimmer now to keep himself above water. And if he ever struggled, he had planets full of people and a new family to help him float when he seemed to do nothing but sink.


End file.
